A List Of Things I Shouldnt Allow To Get To Me


1) The fact that I’ve saved up three hundred forty dollars over eight months, and was planning on buying myself some kind of gadget with it, or not spending it AT ALL, prolly the latter, and for my birthday, my Dad arbitrarily decides to buy me an iPod nano. It’s a nice gesture. I don’t have to spend my money. No issues with that. So what’s the problem, you say? For one, iPods are a piece of crap. [I hate Apple anything with a fiery burning passion.] Sure, they hype about them is fantastic. But I’ve had mine just over a month and it already removes some of the programs on it by itself. And it’s an effing nano. I used to have a thirty gig. With two thousand songs on it. And this stupid thing holds something like five hundred songs. And there are like three hundred thirty on it right now. “Just be glad you’ve got anything that’ll play music.” And I am. Don’t get me wrong. But it still pisses me off somewhat.

2) The fact that for my 14th birthday, mind you. 14th. I asked for my room to be redone. And it wasn’t until a month or so before my 16th birthday that it actually got done.
That’s almost two years.

3) The fact that I’m going to have  people over for Thanksgiving this year whose indifference towards me makes me want to run in my room and lock the door and not come out. Which will most likely occur.

4)  The fact that after I do said locking, I will have to eventually come out, and be told “Why did you do that?” And my typical response will be “I had nothing to say.” Truth is, after I DO say something, no one responds.
The difference in being ignored or not saying anything?
There isn’t one. Nothing changes.
So there is no point in even being there.
I’ll talk to someone who listens, thanks.
Like my baby.

5) The fact I’ve had a birthday trip promised to me by two people in the past month and a half and it hasn’t occured. This one I’ll bend on. When your mother/grandmother is alternating between rehab and home, it’s understandable not to have time. But at the same time, I do get kinda disappointed sometimes.
Both for the fact she has to go through that and for the fact that I’ll prolly not be able to go with her when I do go on these aforementioned trips.
I just need to grow up about it, I guess.

6) the fact that i’m pretty much considered a freak of nature by my stepfamily that’ll be coming over for thanksgiving.

For the millionth time, God forbid should I not be your average top forty adoring, celebrity obsessed, pink polo shirt wearing, teenager.

and usually it’s my stepmom who i get that impression from.

I guess when YOUR daughter is like that, and so are her friends, you don’t really understand.
And when your son is a wigger, you don’t really understand.

just for the same reason I don’t understand ANY of them.

it’s really not just them. it’s alot of people.

you’ve no idea how selfish i felt writing this.

but it really did just hit me all of a sudden.

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