take a hint.

I don’t want you.
I don’t love you.

And no amount of incessant flirting is going to change that.

And honestly, I’ve taken all I can take.

Either quit entirely, or tone it down to a negative five hundred five on a scale of one to ten.

I want no one but him.
He’s the best person for me and always has been.

Do I care if you think you can do better than he does?

Not in the least bit. Sorry.
I know you can’t.

And do you think I care if you think I can do better?
Not in the least bit. Sorry.

I know I can’t.

And just so you know, I’m completely. thoroughly, and satisfactorily content with that fact.


A couple years ago Cracker Barrell sold

these little things that when you dropped them
or pressed a button would scream “GET ME OUTTA HERE!”

[It’s so much better if you actually hear it. On the offchance you come in contact with
me on a regular basis, just ask. I’m willing to demonstrate.]


And please, God.
I’m going to SERIOUSLY MAME someone before June is out.

Here’s a clue.

What makes you think that spending the one day, or week of the day, a year, that’s entirely YOU.

The one day when you actually don’t have people put stuff on you when you’re “just a kid.”


AWAY from a place you call home.


[[What do I call a vacation?

I call a vacation a chance to GET AWAY.

No, not out of state.
NO, not out country.

I swear this is slowly gonna kill me.
Not physically. Well, maybe that, too.
Due to all the polution.
But emotionally, it’s starting.
And mentally, I’m fried.

Even IF you’re hard pressed to even CALL THAT PLACE “HOME” now thanks to the decision to hop up and leave it due to “convenience.”


Convenience may mean easy, but it doesnt mean good.

It’d sure as hell be “convenient” for me to live at Oakland.

Good? No.


Yeah, we can go to Starbucks.
Big freakin deal. It’s coffee.
There are things they call coffee makers that you can put in your house.

Yeah, we can be ten minutes away from Walmart.
Not like it was on the way home or anything.


And just because it’s “convenient” doesn’t mean it’s good.
Doesn’t make it beautiful.
Doesn’t make it an improvement.


There’s beauty in simplicity.
And maybe cause that place isn’t good for YOU anymore doesn’t mean
I should accomodate and expect to take it all.

And maybe cause those people aren’t good ENOUGH for YOU
doesn’t mean you should talk down to them.

It takes all kinds to make the world go round.

Once you embrace that maybe you’ll have some sort of revelation and lose a few egocentric tendencies.
AND with that being said, for someone so open minded, it seems you have a low tolerance for people who are different from you.

School, Sweet School

Once again.

Today was fun.
SOME things didn’t go as planned.

And some people found me but didn’t say Hi.

But  nevertheless, no worries.
I’m back in my natural element.

I would like.

I would like to distance myself from you.
I would like to remove the distance between your self and my self.
I would like you to drop your arrogant facade.
I would like you to understand.
I would like you to learn how to choose girlfriends.
I would like you to get a girlfriend.
I would like to remove myself from your immediate social circle.
I would like you to stop drinking.
I would like you to come to Oakland.
I would like you to lose the male pms.
I would like you to learn how to argue without yelling.
I would like you to have a better life.
I would like to make your life better.
I would like to have that written.
I would like to have more than eight and a half pages.
I would like to go home and write more than eight and a half pages.
I would like you to stop stressing him out.
I would like you to say what you mean.
I would like you to say what you feel.
I would like you too.


Is to get what I thought at every single stage of this written down.

Sometimes you get thrown into things, or out of things,
and you have no idea how it came to be.

The thing is with me is that I leave a paper trail.

And I can be reminded of things, and therefore go back months later to reflect
and get things written down that I should have when they happened.

So that’s what I’ll be doing.

p.s.; did that bitch even know what infatuated meant? doubt it.

[kat white]

I’ve had this son of a gun for 838 days.

Imagine if I had updated everyday for that long with every minute detail of what had happened.

How bizarre would that be to read now?

Not much of anything has been going on lately.
I did successfully sweet talk my ‘rents into letting me go to
the significant other’s humble abode Friday afternoon.
A REALLY fun time was had by all, I assure you, even if we didn’t get to play Legos. =DD
And I think I’m going to have to adopt a kid sister, even if she breaks my eyeliner.

I’m also successfully going to the lake today.
And I’ll be spending an entire week with my Daddeh.
It should be interesting.

Ever notice how the people who build you up and make you feel your best are usually the ones who,
when they knock you down, make you feel the worst, even if they have the best intentions and don’t intend to do such a thing?

Maybe it’s just me, but that seems to happen.

I’m one of these people who’s going to do the best they possibly can to make people around them feel better.
Not because I’m necessarily a people person,
[That is most certainly the truth]
but because the people I do surround myself with, mean a LOT to me.
More than they ever will know.

So them being upset usually drags me down too.

I’m also one of these people who is also, yes, prone to jealousy.

In a general sense, it’s over ridiculous things that I shouldn’t let bother me.
Yet, they do.
This is a reason why, once again, kelly = dumb.

My boyfriend once removed, twice gained…

has really good taste in music.

How do I know?

A) He’s always posting good lyrics.
B) He made me a mix tape. Another one.

I got this said mix tape Friday night in Nashville waiting on a Sounds
game to begin and my momster to get out of the bathroom.


that was amazing.

Got to see Cody and Greg Friday too.


that was amazing.

And now I leave you with amazing things people have said lately.

“i feel gay…i like her waaaay too much. i feel like i’m way too sensitive bout her and stuff.”
he goes
“don’t worry, it’s not gay to like a girl. you’ll be fine.”

“:D 😀 😀 I LOVE YOU

You’re incredible. Seriously. There is nothing that I can think of better than you. Dr. Pepper? Pssh. Big Texas? Not even close. Cale? No way, your boobs help put you over him.

You’re amazing baby. “

“So me, Bekah, being the amazing person I am, read that whole, entire, long message and came to the conclusion that he does indeed deserve another chance with the amazing Kelly Mayo. But so help me God, if the same thing happens like last time, to the point where you call me and cry, which I hated, because I hate to see you cry, I will, and this is not a threat but a promise, beat the living shit outta him. I don’t care how well you know him. I will do this. I will Cody, and we will, together, set his balls on fire, and make Justin watch us do this. “

“In the past few days the media has been running continuous coverage of Paris Hilton and her trip to lock-up. Throughout this time, Congressman William Jefferson from New Orleans has made a public statement defending himself against some 16 counts of corruption charges, the Joint Chiefs Chairman General Peter Pace (closes military adviser to the President) announced his “early” retirement, Russia threaten to start a new Cold War, the space shuttle Atlantis took off for the first time since the NASA scandals and the leaders from the 8 most powerful countries in the world met to discuss the future of our planet (to name a few things). You would never know this if you were to watch the news or read the papers. Our fascination with mindless things has brought our country to a complete halt. Our progression as a society from the 1920’s to the 1980’s was made by understanding our role and status in the world. Our involvement with the government and our drive to lead the world in has grossly dwindled. This is proven to us when meaningless socialites become more important and interesting to us then issues that effect us personally and place earmarks history. The question that came to mind when I realized this fact was WHY? Why are Americans so fascinated with such trivial things? Is it our complacency? Are we just so content with how things are now that we accept what’s given to us without question?, Are we exposed to so much negative media by the neo-cons and neo-libs that we’ve come to choose a state of numbness over a state of enlightenment. The battle for the minds of Americans has cost us our ability to go out on a limb to succeed in life. If we become successful entrepreneurs, the libs call us selfish and say we should give our earnings back to people that will just waist it all on nonsense, if we fight for a cause that is important to us like global warming or a moral issue like abortion, the cons call us crazies. What do you think is our problem? Do you think it’s a problem in the first place? No world power in history has been brought down by an outside force? So where do you think the battles really take place in the war on our steady decline of power in the world? Iraq? Africa? The EU? Or does the battle take place on our own soil?”

“me and kelly’s momma sittin in a tree
k i s s i n g
first comes love
then comes marriage
then comes me moving in with my 2 favorite women”